he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
