You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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