He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
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Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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