hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
