We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
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i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize