My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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