It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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