It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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