is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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