my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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