Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
