i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
