Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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