That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
