she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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