so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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