How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
