he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
