i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize