I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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