apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
