my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
