i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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