I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize