i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
