last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
