Life is so much better after having sex.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
