Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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