I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize