Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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