so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Banned from zoo.
Again?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
