i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
