It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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