it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
