My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
being pregnant is like rehab
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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