Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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