i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
