You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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