I'm laying in your front yard are you home
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone