I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low