D3 body, D1 cock
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"