I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
