Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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