let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
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Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
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I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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