at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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