I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
