that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
