so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize