There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
