he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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