What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
