My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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