Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
