The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
