Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
