Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
